A Shy Boy and His Awesome God

When I was in high school, my school required every student to take four years of a foreign language to graduate. They called it English, but it was all Greek to me. My only saving grace was that they allowed upperclassmen to opt-out of English by choosing an elective course from the Language Department.

Most of the students who did not want to take English took two years of literature. If there was anything I hated to do more than conjugate verbs, it was to read. Why would any intelligent person, ever want to waste their time reading a book? After all, I reasoned, if the book is any good, they would certainly make it into a movie.

As I perused through the course catalog, to my surprise the only class I could take that I did not have to read something or diagram a sentence, was a class in Public Speaking. Now you need to understand that I am an introvert. I was the boy in school who sat in the back of the classroom and never spoke up. I was quiet and shy and only had a few friends.

The more I thought about it, I believed this was the perfect class for me. I imagined that the only students who would consider taking a class in Public Speaking were all the loud-mouthed kids who always spoke up in class. I could sit quietly in the back of the room unnoticed, give an occasional report, and at the very least get a passing grade.

My plan worked to perfection my junior year, and I finished the class with a solid C. But now what course could I take for my Senior year to get my credit to graduate? Once again I studied the course catalog, and there it was Public Speaking 2. I signed up for the class and gave little thought to my Senior year all summer.

On the first day of class, I took my seat in the back of the classroom. When the bell rang ending class, the teacher said as he dismissed the students, “Brad Simon, will you stay and see me after class.” I knew exactly what he was going to say. I was placed in Public Speaking 1 by mistake, and he would give me a slip of paper to take to my counselor to have my schedule corrected.

To my horror, that was not at all what he said! I was told that in the history of the school system no student had ever signed up for Public Speaking 2. The teachers in the department talked all summer about what they were going to do with me and decided to have me assist the teacher with the class. He handed me an assignment and asked me to look it over and present it to the class the next day. My plan to sit quietly in the back of class turned into the Nightmare of Senior High!

If humiliating me every day in class by making me teach wasn’t enough, my teacher had the audacity that spring to enter me into the state High School Speech competition. After my application was finalized, he told me what he did, and I was to prepare a five-minute After Dinner speech.

As I walked out on stage to deliver my speech on the day of the competition, I was so nervous I could hardly move. I stood straight as a board with my chest out, chin up, and my hands fastened tightly to the lapels on my suit jacket. I looked like I was posing for a nineteenth-century photograph.

As I began to speak, the tips of my fingers pressed so firmly to my jacket lapels that I thought my fingernails would cut through the cloth. The words I had memorized began to tumble from my mouth and all I could think of was the words my teacher said over and over in class, “to help calm your nerves, take a step forward and gesture with your hand.  Your body movements will help you relax.”

So, in a robot-like fashion, I managed to step forward, but my fingers were so tightly gripped to my lapels, instead of gesturing I flapped my jacket. As I continued to speak, I stepped and flapped, and flapped, and flapped. At the end of my delivery, I zoomed across the stage with my arms extended with my suit jacket flapping in the breeze. I looked like a giant bird trying to fly off the stage. Needless to say, I did not win the competition!

A year later in college, I dedicated my life to Christ, and soon afterward some people at my church asked me to teach the Junior High class. Emphatically I told them no!  They were talking to the wrong person; I was not a teacher. They said they understood but asked if I would pray about it.

Since I was a new Christian and did not know any better, I began to pray about teaching the class. In the third and fourth chapters of Exodus, Moses stood before God at the burning bush. For half a chapter, Moses gave God excuses for why he could not go back to Egypt and free His people. As I prayed about teaching the class, I made Moses look like an amateur!

I told God I could not teach the class; I was the shy boy in the back of the class who did not speak up. I reminded Him I flapped my jacket as I spoke. And I don’t know the Bible, so I would not know what to say. Besides, junior high boys throw chairs like frisbees!

The more I prayed, the more I felt God was wanting me to teach that class. Finally, I said to God that I would teach the class under one condition. I would stand in front of the class, but He would have to teach the class through me. While I never heard an audible voice, it was just as clear to me that God said, “That’s all I ever wanted in the first place.”

I told the church I would teach the class. That little class started to grow, then it doubled in size, and then doubled again. I had parents tell me that their child would remind them on Saturday night that they had to go to church in the morning so they could go to Sunday School.

The Apostle Paul said, Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 CSB). When we realize our weakness and get ourselves out of God’s way allowing Him to minister through us, we will be amazed at the powerful impact our ministries have on people.

Today I no longer flap my suit jacket as I speak. I can stand confidently and proclaim boldly the Word of God. The Apostle Peter said, Just as each one has received a gift, use it to serve others, as good stewards of the varied grace of God. If anyone speaks, let it be as one who speaks God’s words (1Peter 4:10-11a CSB)

Over the past forty-five years, I’ve stood on stage and taught the Bible to auditoriums filled with hundreds of people. I’ve taught a small class of just two or three people, and everywhere in between. But through it all, I’ve never forgotten that I’m just the shy boy sitting quietly in class. It is God who gives me the confidence to stand and who speaks through me. What an Awesome God we serve!